Before The Fall
by bravevulnerability
Summary: What if it was Castle's voice Beckett heard calling for her while she was hanging from the edge of that building after all? An alternative take on 4x23, 'Always'. One shot.


Her fingers are hanging on the very edge of the building, the whorls of skin going numb, her nails digging painfully against the harsh surface of brick; she isn't going to be able to hold on for much longer. Her lungs already burn from screaming for help, her heart simultaneously beating too hard and sinking with despair. She fruitlessly kicks against the building's side in an attempt to gain some leverage, push herself up. But the toes of her boots scrape hopelessly along the wall, her legs flailing with the momentum.

Beckett grits her teeth, feels the reality start to settle in.

"No," she groans as she feels herself slip a fraction further. "Not like this."

Not without him.

She turns her head, spares a perilous glance over her shoulder, and purses her lips as her stomach drops at the sheer sight of how just high she is, the long way down.

"Castle," she whispers, just as one of her arms gives out, swings from the building's edge and leaves her dangling from one hand.

Kate cries out, feeling her knuckles singing in protest, her final five fingers threatening to echo her right hand and just let go. She squeezes her eyes shut for a split second, tries not to think of the pain radiating through her body from Maddox's beating, the varying degrees of throbbing across the expanse of her flesh, and the raw tips of her fingers.

None of it matters anymore. None of it compares to the regret of losing him.

Her heart hollows out in a way that has nothing to do with the intimidating fall awaiting her, gutted by the remorse of her own mistakes, the remnants of wishful thinking, a fierce longing for what could have been.

It was either him or the battle. She made her choice and now she's lost the war.

* * *

The storm clouds above begin to crowd together in ominous promise, painting the skies dark grey, flashing with muted bolts of lighting. The rumbles of thunder are still distant, but growing closer, growling at him in warning. He should be inside, back at the loft, distracting himself with video games, a movie, his writing - anything that would take his mind off of her. It's what he assured Alexis he would be doing when she called to check on him earlier.

Her graduation was perfect, beautiful, and he wants her to have the time of her life at the after party, not spend another second worrying about her not so subtly heartbroken father.

But his body is as restless as his mind and he chose the streets of New York to roam over the comfort of remaining at his loft. He isn't sure how long he's been walking, only that it's been a while and he's in a less familiar area now, industrial and less crowded. He strolls through the maze of buildings with his hands in his pockets, placing his focus on the range of sights and sounds, the smell of impending rain.

He should probably turn back; he didn't bring an umbrella with him and he isn't looking to get drenched. But just as he's about to relent, go back the way he came, he hears it.

The harsh sound of rough scraping against brick, a groan echoing through the air, and… it can't be, makes no sense, but he would know her voice anywhere.

Castle jerks his head towards the sound and his heart drops as his eyes go wide.

"Beckett!" he shouts without thinking, because it _is_ her, hanging from the edge of a goddamn building by the tips of her fingers, struggling to maintain her grip by the looks of it.

He watches the length of her body seize at his call, her head swiveling but unable to locate him. He staggers into action, racing around the side of the building in search of any form of entrance.

"Castle!" Her voice is desperate, strained, and his heart starts to beat so hard, it steals all of his breath, causes his hands to shake as he finally comes across a door handle and yanks. "Castle, I'm here!"

"I know," he rasps under his breath while he stumbles through the service door, finding a flight of stairs and immediately beginning to climb. "Please just stay there."

He'll be winded by the time he reaches her - because he _will_ get to her, he is not going to let her plunge to her death, he's not - but it's better than waiting still and uncertain in an elevator that he doesn't have the time to locate anyway.

Once Castle makes it through the final flight, the door that leads to the roof that's been left partially opened, he can barely breathe. His chest is heaving violently with every pant for air, but he doesn't stop, can't even pause for a moment that she may not have.

"Beckett, hold on!" he yells, scrambling across the roof, towards the side he saw her dangling from.

It's starting to rain, thick, fat droplets falling from the sky, and there's no way she'll be able to withstand it, her fingers no match for a slick surface.

"Castle!" The shout of his name, growing more panicked by the second, on the verge of a scream, guides him and he's so close, so close, can see the tips of her fingers, just hang on- " _Castle_!"

He practically dives over the edge himself, grabs her by the wrist with both of his hands just as she lets go.

* * *

"Beckett!"

Oh god, it's real, it's him, he's _here_.

And fighting to drag her up.

Kate grunts and reaches with her other hand, blinks through the drops of rain that are steadily multiplying, and scrabbles for the edge of the building with her fingers. She pushes her toes into the building to heave herself upwards, into Castle's tugging grasp.

"Come on, Kate," he breathes, almost there, releasing one hand from her wrist and hooking it in the back of her leather jacket. "I've got you, I've got you."

It gives her enough stability to help, to climb, and the second her knee hits the edge of the building, she tumbles forward, falling into Castle as he collapses onto his back with her in his arms. For a moment, they're motionless, trembling from the aftermath of effort, his heart pounding out a merciless rhythm that she can feel against her ribs, matching her own arrhythmic breathing.

"You're here," she gasps, her chest tight with effort, with the ridiculous threat of tears, straining for breath in time with his. A sob bubbles on her lips even as she bites it back and Kate buries her face in his neck, manages to snake her arms around his shoulders. He holds her tighter. "You came."

"Shh, Kate," he breathes, the hand still fisted in her jacket unfurling, coasting up her spine to curl at her nape. "It's okay, I've got you, I'm here-"

"I'm sorry," she chokes out, the bruise on her forehead flaring as she presses her nose to his throat, her brow to his jaw. "I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm sorry-"

"Okay, okay," he murmurs, his voice a soothing hum against her temple. His lips graze along her ear, his chest expanding with a deep breath beneath hers. "You're okay."

He eases both of them up into a sitting position, Beckett still awkwardly strewn across his lap, arms in a vise around his neck and unable to move even if she wanted to. Her entire body is quivering, her hands cramped and stinging so harshly, she can barely feel them anymore, but she isn't thinking about the pain.

The rain is starting to intensify, the sky above them going dark and the roar of thunder closer than before, vibrating through her bones. Castle glances up, raindrops streaking down his cheeks like tears. Kate unwinds one of her arms to touch her throbbing fingers to his chin.

His gaze flashes back to her, the lightning rippling across the sky reflected in his eyes, mercurial and dangerous. Her heart rabbits in her chest, leaps into her throat.

She almost died and all she could think about was him, all she wanted is right here.

"Beckett," he exhales, still out of breath. "We need to go before the storm picks up."

She knows she should listen to him, that they aren't safe up here. Not from the storm, from Maddox. She knows that this isn't the time, but she can't, she can't bear to waste another second.

Kate curls her fingers in the collar of the dress shirt that's beginning to stick to his skin, ignoring the jolt of displeasure through her joints, and leans in to kiss his mouth before he can stop her.

He sighs out beneath her, the arms around her frame cinching to draw her closer; it's a greater relief than surviving the fall to her death. It's reassurance, it's a second chance, it's accepting what's been standing in front of her all along.

Castle's hands splay at her back, over fresh bruises he isn't yet aware of, gliding up the line of her spine, into the tangled mess of her hair currently becoming drenched by the rain that she tastes on his lips. They part on a moan beneath hers, a gorgeous sound that causes her stomach to flutter.

She wants to return his words from the night before, tell him that she loves him too, that he was right about all of it. But the timing is all wrong, too much adrenaline in her veins and desperation surging through her chest. He's stolen all of her words, all hope of coherent thoughts, anyway.

He rises into her as she sucks his bottom lip into her mouth, tending to the flesh with her tongue. It's felt like an eternity since she kissed him last, since she allowed herself the breath-stealing sensation of his lips against hers last year, the caress of warmth between them that so quickly bloomed into a heat that could so easily devastate her. That first kiss terrified her, left her sitting up at night with her fingertips tracing the line of her mouth, trying to capture the lingering electricity in the whorls of her fingertips. It was supposed to be a ruse, nothing but a necessary ploy to fool a guard and save Ryan and Espo's lives

Even then, before she was ready to admit it to herself or anyone else, she knew the ruse was a little too real.

Kate slides her fingers into his hair and clamps her knees at his hips. She yearns for the reality of it all now, whimpers her gratitude against his lips as he reaffirms just how real it's become.

He drifts from her mouth to sip at the skin of her jaw, down to suckle at her neck, over the drumbeat at her pulse that has failed to quiet. It's only grown louder since she first heard his voice, since it forced her to hold on.

"Rick," she moans, the sound breathless, all she can manage. He pants at her neck, lifts his head to fuse another kiss to her mouth that has her body aching for entirely different reasons, wanting him so badly-

The crash of thunder is undeniably loud this time, shuddering through them both. Castle startles beneath her, snags her hips in his hands.

"How the hell did you end up dangling from the side of a building?" he rasps, breathing hard against her mouth.

Kate drops her forehead to the slick surface of his.

"Chased - chased him up here," she manages to get out through the rapid rise and fall of her chest into his, the threatening collapse of her lungs. "I was - it was like I was nothing, no match for him. He threw me over the edge, didn't even feel the need to finish the job. Just left me there."

Castle releases a distressed noise from the back of his throat, grief stricken and guttural. She nudges her nose to his cheek, puffs of her breath hitting the corner of his mouth.

"I was stuck hanging there, knowing he got away, knowing I was probably going to die, but all I could think about was you," she confesses, blinking up at him through the pelt of rain, falling hard and unforgiving now, biting through her clothes to beat against her bruises. "I just wanted you and then I heard you call my name."

One of his large palms cradles the side of her face, his thumb stroking beneath her eye and his fingers brushing back the wet mop of her hair. Kate catches his wrist, holds him there as she turns to press her lips to the center, feeling his pulse skipping beneath her touch.

She hears the slight hitch in his breathing over the rain, the thunder.

"We need to go," he whispers, his lips grazing her eyebrow, sliding his hand down her nape, her spine, to grip her hip, squeezing gently. She nods, gritting her teeth as her limbs unlock and they stagger to their feet together.

"How did you know?" she asks, letting him claim her hand but unable to hide the wince he instantly sees. She doesn't allow him to release her, fitting her fingers into the spaces between his instead, no matter how much it aches.

They start towards the door he left wide open, his lips parting to answer, but Ryan is rushing through the rooftop's entrance, two SWAT members flanking him, before he can say a word over the rain.

"Beckett!" he yells, his sharp blue eyes sifting through the rain, going still once they land on her and Castle. The tension immediately abandons his shoulders and his gun lowers to his side. "Espo said-"

"Is he okay?" she inquires, closing the distance to the rooftop's entry with Castle at her side while Ryan directs the rest of the team to fall back, feeling the guilt bloom in her stomach for not thinking of her teammates, for leaving Esposito without pause and placing Ryan in this position.

"He's fine. Pissed, but fine," Ryan sighs, making room for her and Castle to shuffle inside, slamming the door shut behind them. "But he said you'd gone after Maddox on your own. Didn't mention Castle was with you guys, though."

"Because I wasn't," Castle mumbles, his eyes flickering between her and Ryan, darkening with worry and… shame? "I had been walking, after Alexis's graduation. I heard Beckett's voice, looked up and saw her hanging from the building's edge," he reveals. Ryan's face blanches, but Castle's gaze is on her, soft but aching behind the dripping wings of his lashes. "Believe in fate now?"

She looks to him with the intent to answer, the words already on the tip of her tongue-

"Detective Beckett."

All eyes fly to Gates, standing in the middle of the hallway, in front of open elevator doors with her arms crossed and the severe disapproval written across her face, radiating from every inch of her frame.

Ryan shoots her an apologetic look, but she responds with a subtle shake of her head, eases closer to Castle to hide their intertwined hands.

"I think I'm going to have to head back to the station for a little while," she murmurs, swallowing past the pulsing irritation in her throat that is starting to make itself known. The bruises are already forming, a necklace of pain around her throat where Maddox's hands encircled her trachea, plucked her from the ground like a rag doll, and held her at his mercy.

"Okay," he nods, determination searing through his eyes, the line of his mouth, ready to bear the beating with her. Thank god for Ryan, who steps in front of them, distracts Gates with a rundown of the situation while Kate shifts closer to Castle, dusts her fingertips to his damp cheek.

"I think I should go alone for this part, Castle."

"What?" he snaps under his breath, his head already beginning to shake in protest. "No, I'm not-"

"I was hoping I could come to the loft afterwards, though," she whispers, glancing to him from beneath her lashes, lowering her fingers to his chest, and managing a quirk of her lips. "Maybe we could salvage our movie date after all."

"Date, huh?" His face brightens ever so slightly at the suggestion, the slip, and she wishes she could kiss him, seal the deal with the promising press of her mouth. But Gates is right there, impatient and furious, and she should really just go, get this over so she can return to him. "I'll make some hot chocolate," he concedes, his lips curling into a gentle smile. Her heart exalts at the sight, the familiar spread of warmth it triggers through her chest, but her fingers snag at his waist when he lets go of her hand, stopping him before he can go.

"I don't believe in fate," she murmurs, watching his brow furrow as he stares down at her, the sudden admission. But her lips twitch in the corners, her hand warm where it connects to him despite the soaked quality of their clothes sending subtle shivers up and down her spine. "But you and me… that's something I can put faith in, should have had faith in all along."

Gates is stepping into the elevator, momentarily out of sight, so Kate arches on the toes of her boots, brushes a kiss to his mouth. She's allowed to linger there when he cups her cheek, savoring the tender pressure of his lips on hers, the tease of his tongue.

"Go, get reamed out by Gates," he mumbles, earning a smirk that he meets with a smile as her eyes slide open. "I'll be waiting for you."

"Last of the waiting, I promise," she breathes, her grin growing at the choked noise of his laughter. But she means it, she really hopes he knows that she means it. She drops back to the soles of her shoes, steps away from him with a sigh. "I promise this time, Rick."

"Kate," he murmurs and she glances back over her shoulder, drifting reluctantly towards the elevator, the trouble waiting inside. "I believe you."


End file.
